Needy Bitch...

We can never have ALL we want in life, at least not at the same time....
At least not me, maybe that´s what I mean.

We might live in a lovely place, but have no money to buy food other than instant shit.
We might have money, but live in a place that makes us constantly wonder if the grass is greener elsewhere.
We might have sex, but like hate sex, where you don´t even like the person who is giving it to you.
Or we might have love, but no sex, or kisses or somebody to stroke the hair out of your face (I think I mean me again, as I have this tendency to fall in love with people I can´t even talk to)

We might have cheese but no bread, and we all know that´s no good.
Or wine and no thingy to open it, or no friends to share it with (but hell, more for me, ignore that last one)

Right now I feel I should be thankful, I live in a lovely place, with lovely people that talk to me at the end of the day, and they sometimes share their cheese and bread with me, I have a lot of love in my heart, I have friends and family to give it to.

I have no sex, but sometimes that just screws things up, so I should be thankful. The person that my head keeps thinking I love is 14 hours away by plane, so I have an excuse for not being able to talk to him (although maybe a normal, secure person would have sent him an email).

I have school to keep me occupied, french to keep my head spinning, hundreds of years of history and places and customs and books and food to discover.

But sometimes, when I am alone in my gorgeous apartment I can´t help thinking about the other things I want (because me, I always want more).

And sometimes, like today, I suprise myself in discovering that I only want some new toothpaste, a pedicure, some chocolate, my acrylics and some paper that will not enrage me (because the one I have right now just sucks).

I am a simple, simple girl.